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How to express yourself freely – 4 steps from my journey

May 2, 2021Self-love1

I stopped hiding & it changed everything

“The sooner you step up into the greater most authentic version of You, the sooner your fears will dissipate, the sooner your concerns will begin to fade, the sooner life will bend towards you. The more you will flow with life.”
― Rebecca Campbell, Light Is the New Black*

(*I earn a small commission of you buy this book through this link, with no extra cost to you)

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I really want to write about the core essence of what I stand for and what The Wishing Well stands for.

Two words, ‘not hiding’.

I believe in it stronger than ever now because I can see the changes it has brought to my life. And it’s just not me observing these changes, it’s other people telling me and pointing out things that I haven’t even noticed.

But it all starts with you. It all starts with being who you really are.

Why is it important to show your true self?

These are some of the recent benefits and successes, both personal and professional that I have noticed ever since I started expressing myself freely.

My art practice

I create art that is true. Because I stopped being afraid and stopped caring about people.  Now when I paint or draw, there’s nothing holding me back. There is no fear of people judging me because I know the right people who understand my art will appreciate it. Which brings me to the next point.

My support system

Ever since I became of myself I have been attracting people, personally and professionally who understand who I truly am. And repelling people who don’t value me (probably never valued me and this gave them a push).

When you create true things, the right people will be in awe of you. They will be in awe of the things you create.  And those are the people you need to focus on.

Professionally, I have been attracting a lot of opportunities that I never thought I could before!

My motivation and social life

Ever since I started dressing up how I truly wanted to, without the fear of judgment, I feel a lot more confident and I feel more motivated to socialize and go meet people. This has helped my confidence in professional settings too as  an entrepreneur.

These are only the few most recent things.

pieces / mix media on paper / 2021

How did I start expressing myself?

This process took me years. This is actually what I coach people through when they work with me.

I have my own method ‘be fearless effect’ which I help my clients through inside my 90-day signature program. You can visit the link and apply if you need my help.

It can be a scary process so I would advice to have a friend to keep supporting you or work with a life coach. It would be very very overwhelming to do it on your own and you might quit. I did too several times.

1. Interact with people with similar interests

First thing I did was to meet people. I started with photowalks because I didn’t have to talk to anybody and just have a good time.

Then I started going to networking events. It wasn’t always good. I met weird people but I also met good people. I also realized the kind of events that weren’t good for me and the kind of events that I should go to.

I remember I felt really good when I went to this artist meet-up. There was another wellness based meet-up. But this other time I went to this entrepreneur, it didn’t feel good to me. There were a lot of people. There was barely any communicating and a lot of more showing off.

There are events and meetups happening online all the time, even for free. You can join something you like. You can find them on Eventbrite or Facebook events or meetups.

2. Personal writing for self-discovery

Journaling to figure out who you are. Even the dark parts, weird parts and your desires. Expressive arts really helps with this process too because for some people it’s easier to draw then to write. That is why I use that with my clients. It’s like a no judgment space.

These are some self-discovery prompts you can use to write or draw. I would really recommend to actually sit down and do it on paper and do it every day or every other day.

  • When did it feel good in my life? Like I was present in this world? What activities I used to do? What places I used to go?
  • What is something that really calls out to me right now?  Or things that my friends mention to me that I ignore?

In my list I wrote music, singing and dance. These were hobbies but they really made me feel good and gave me energy. Took to me a past moment when I felt really really happy without pretending to be happy.

Something that called out to me was doing traditional art that I ignored for so long. Also the beach, which is something difficult to do and I’m still working on it because I live very far way from the beach.

3. Interact with people one on one

Connecting with people online on DMs, meeting old friends or just dating. Because when you meet someone new, it’s a clean slate and it’s chance for you to either keep telling them the story that you have been telling them. Or you can be honest. You can tell them sometime new about you and just notice how it feels to you to be honest about your self. And then take it slowly from there.

When I reconnected with old friends I remembered some things about me that I had forgotten that I really liked. Or I some parts I have really changed and evolved and I decided I am not going back there again.

4. Start checking things off your list

Get something done, push yourself a bit everyday or every week. Start with something that feels comparatively easier.

I started my art diary and I only shared my true sketches with the world when I felt comfortable.

I started listening to the music I used to listen years before and also started opening myself to new kinds of music, that people would suggest to me. I started singing by myself. Which was huge because I stopped singing completely. Before I would actually sing on stage at school.

And then I pushed and push and then I dyed my hair. I got a nose piercing. Both of those times my sister went with me because she wanted that done too. So I had that support.

Anyway, I pushed and pushed.  And now here I am.

Final thoughts on being your true self

I’m still pushing myself. I haven’t stopped. Every day is a chance for you to grow a little bit more and follow your heart. There are still things from my list that I haven’t and the list just keeps growing. The more I do things I really want to do and the more say things I really want to say, the more clarity I get into the person I truly am and the more confident and fearless I become everyday to be my true self.

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Some related blogs

  • What to do after a breakup to help with pain
  • 20 self-care ideas to help create your safe space
  • How I escaped my toxic relationship and found myself

Are you going to live life being who you truly are? What steps will you begin with?

Jabeen Qadri

About Jabeen Qadri

Jabeen is an expressive artist, writer, intuitive creative healer and creative mentor. She's the owner of The Wishing Well Co. She helps people balance their emotional and spiritual health through creative healing and also mentors them to kickstart and manage their creative pursuits with ease and flow.

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jabeenqadri

June 21, summer solstice promises to be a fresh en June 21, summer solstice promises to be a fresh energy. Like a breath of fresh air. However, that has not been the case for me.

I've been going through extremely trying times. The toughest thing to do is sit with your issues. I've been forced to sit with my abandonment issues & overgiving patterns this entire month.

Remember, every horrible thing that happens only sheds light on the reality you've been escaping. It's a chance to heal something within that could improve your life. Plus also the life of others around you.

God & universe are only helping you & they want the best for you. Even though it may not seem so right now. It may seem completely opposite. But everything is happening in your favor.

Let go of habits that aren't helping you & people that don't appreciate you. Focus on yourself & your needs. Fear of abandonment is no reason to overgive in relationships.

Whatever you do, don't escape this pain. This heartache is important so you may appreciate the new beginnings.

"The wound is the place where the light enters you."
-- Rumi
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#energyreading #oraclemessage #energycheck #healingjourney #relationshiptrauma #emotionaltrauma #relationshipissues #innerchildhealing #innerchildwork
Sketches & sunsets. The weather is so lovely in L Sketches & sunsets.

The weather is so lovely in Lahore. I spend alot of my time on the terrace these days.
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#wip #workinprogressartwork #femaleillustrators #drawingoftheday #sketchartist #portraitdrawings #sketchbookspread #sketchbookartist #sunsetdrawing #melancholia #coloredpencildrawing
All I can see is black I get tired of being hopefu All I can see is black
I get tired of being hopeful

No, thank you
I'd rather not be grateful

I'd rather not be ridiculed
For being an optimist

I'd rather be a cynic
I'd rather be respected

I'd like for a change
For my walls to be climbed

I'd like for a change
To be the one trying to hide

I'd rather not be kind
I'd rather not be understanding

I'd rather not be things
Missing from this world

I'd rather be missing myself
I'd rather be black

I'd rather give myself permission
To be fully melancholic

No, thank you
I can't keep it together

I'd rather peacefully
Gracefully, fall apart

/ misunderstood /

Art & writing by @jabeenqadri 

©️ All rights reserved by @jabeenqadri Please take the artist's permission before re-sharing or reproducing this work.

#spiritualpoetry #writingcommunity #healingpoetry #enneagram4 #overgiver #selflovejourney #healingjourneys #pakistaniartist #pakistaniwriter #beautifulbizarre #femalepoet #heartbreak #poetrylovers #poetrysociety #spiritualwriter #melancholic #melancholia #sketchbookspread #artjournalspread #sketchesoninstagram
My world crumbles With every smirk With every rema My world crumbles
With every smirk
With every remark

Every thought is rejected
Every word is not mine
Every laugh is patronizing

The worst thing I did to myself
I only ever saw the good in people
I'm guilty of innocence

When will I learn
I can't mend shipwrecks
Or keep people from drowning

I can't put together
Broken parts of a home
Jigsaw pieces out of order

I'll give when I'm not asked
I'll save others from breaking
& continue to silently fall apart

The worst thing I do to myself
I won't ever give up
I'm guilty of holding on

I will keep searching
For flowers in autumn
For hearts in the dead

For love in the loveless
For God in the godless
For humanity in humans

The worst thing I will do to myself
I will only ever see the good in people
I'm guilty of innocence

From my book 'The girl who slept for 10 years'

Photo captured & manipulated by me.

©️ All rights reserved by @jabeenqadri Please take the artist's permission before re-sharing or reproducing this work.

#spiritualpoetry #writingcommunity #healingpoetry #enneagram4 #overgiver #selflovejourney #healingjourneys #pakistaniartist #pakistaniwriter #beautifulbizarre #femalepoet #heartbreak #poetrylovers #poetrysociety #spiritualwriter
I'm still processing the closure of my healing wor I'm still processing the closure of my healing work.

What really pushed me to do it recently were 2 things that happened back to back

1. My group project for Primordial Images class where we have to do dream analysis. Turns out I have had very vivid dreams about things have not been right in my work & how devoid of passion (& myself)I have been for a really long time but I kept ignoring it

2. I was conducting my arts based research (on instagram) when I realized how many years of my life (maybe 9? I dunno) I have given to Instagram through my accounts but I have not received much back. No matter how many followers or admirers I have online, I am still alone. Everyone is moving on, living their life, while I have become someone they reach out to only when they are sad or they need a listener. And then they are gone.

The fault is my own. I made my life's purpose about other people. About my work. About helping people & I overgave alot.

The worst thing I did was I expected alot. I expected decency and kindness from people that I gave my time & energy to. But I guess that's too much to ask.

I tried alot. But I can't constantly be there for people that can't even say thank you back or even acknowledge you. I'm not that big of a person. I'm done overgiving.

I know in spiritual community they call obstacles a "mindset block". But not everything is a block. Sometimes the universe is guiding you towards something that's better for you.

Lesson learned the hard way ~ my life's purpose is not about others anymore. From now on, I come first.

My life's purpose is to do what makes me happy & live in passion.
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#healingjourneys #artistsofinstagram #mentalillnessrecovery #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthadvocate #arttherapist #beautifulbizarre #toxicsocialmedia #selflovejourney🌷 #selflovejourney #meditationfacilitator #lifepurpose #soulspurpose
I want to become a wanderer Without a destination I want to become a wanderer
Without a destination

Become one with the wind
Or even ashes, I don't mind

I want to get lost
Not be found

This is not revenge
Or a cry for attention

The search for myself
Gets too much sometimes

I just want to not exist sometimes

What will it take
For my heart to stop beating?

Even after everything
Why won't my lungs collapse?

Am I made of steel or diamonds,
Or am I numb beyond hope?

This life must be a big joke
I must not be a human

The perpetual state of resilience
Gets too much sometimes

I just want to not exist sometimes

/ sombre corners of my heart / 

Art & writing by @jabeenqadri 

[This artwork is available for sale. DM me for info]
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#melancholia #melancholic #exhaustionisreal #beautifulbizarre #poetrycommunity #poetsofinstagram #spiritualpoetry #sadpoetry #sketchdaily #portraitdrawing #portraitart #sketchbookspread
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