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Relationships

Escape an abusive relationship

How I escaped my toxic relationship and found myself

February 2, 2021Relationships, Self-love0

Find empowerment to leave a toxic relationship with dignity I’m not lying when I say that when I stayed in a toxic relationship for 3.5 years, those were the darkest days of my life. And…

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how to deal with a breakup illustration

How to get over a break up – 5 ways to heal pain

July 24, 2020Relationships0

The steps to take to deal with a breakup Whether you just met a month ago or it was a long term relationship, moving on after a breakup can be extremely painful and those first…

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warning signs on emotional abuse

How to identify emotional abuse?

May 18, 2020Relationships0

This is where emotional and mental abuse comes in. Emotional abuse is a form of mental violence. The goal of an emotional abuser is to undermine and control the victim through constant criticism, verbal insults, manipulation, fear, and humiliation. Emotional abuse has severe effects on your mental and physical health. You may develop mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Physically, you may always feel drained, stressed, and weak.

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jabeenqadri

Sketches & sunsets. The weather is so lovely in L Sketches & sunsets.

The weather is so lovely in Lahore. I spend alot of my time on the terrace these days.
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#wip #workinprogressartwork #femaleillustrators #drawingoftheday #sketchartist #portraitdrawings #sketchbookspread #sketchbookartist #sunsetdrawing #melancholia #coloredpencildrawing
All I can see is black I get tired of being hopefu All I can see is black
I get tired of being hopeful

No, thank you
I'd rather not be grateful

I'd rather not be ridiculed
For being an optimist

I'd rather be a cynic
I'd rather be respected

I'd like for a change
For my walls to be climbed

I'd like for a change
To be the one trying to hide

I'd rather not be kind
I'd rather not be understanding

I'd rather not be things
Missing from this world

I'd rather be missing myself
I'd rather be black

I'd rather give myself permission
To be fully melancholic

No, thank you
I can't keep it together

I'd rather peacefully
Gracefully, fall apart

/ misunderstood /

Art & writing by @jabeenqadri 

©️ All rights reserved by @jabeenqadri Please take the artist's permission before re-sharing or reproducing this work.

#spiritualpoetry #writingcommunity #healingpoetry #enneagram4 #overgiver #selflovejourney #healingjourneys #pakistaniartist #pakistaniwriter #beautifulbizarre #femalepoet #heartbreak #poetrylovers #poetrysociety #spiritualwriter #melancholic #melancholia #sketchbookspread #artjournalspread #sketchesoninstagram
My world crumbles With every smirk With every rema My world crumbles
With every smirk
With every remark

Every thought is rejected
Every word is not mine
Every laugh is patronizing

The worst thing I did to myself
I only ever saw the good in people
I'm guilty of innocence

When will I learn
I can't mend shipwrecks
Or keep people from drowning

I can't put together
Broken parts of a home
Jigsaw pieces out of order

I'll give when I'm not asked
I'll save others from breaking
& continue to silently fall apart

The worst thing I do to myself
I won't ever give up
I'm guilty of holding on

I will keep searching
For flowers in autumn
For hearts in the dead

For love in the loveless
For God in the godless
For humanity in humans

The worst thing I will do to myself
I will only ever see the good in people
I'm guilty of innocence

From my book 'The girl who slept for 10 years'

Photo captured & manipulated by me.

©️ All rights reserved by @jabeenqadri Please take the artist's permission before re-sharing or reproducing this work.

#spiritualpoetry #writingcommunity #healingpoetry #enneagram4 #overgiver #selflovejourney #healingjourneys #pakistaniartist #pakistaniwriter #beautifulbizarre #femalepoet #heartbreak #poetrylovers #poetrysociety #spiritualwriter
I'm still processing the closure of my healing wor I'm still processing the closure of my healing work.

What really pushed me to do it recently were 2 things that happened back to back

1. My group project for Primordial Images class where we have to do dream analysis. Turns out I have had very vivid dreams about things have not been right in my work & how devoid of passion (& myself)I have been for a really long time but I kept ignoring it

2. I was conducting my arts based research (on instagram) when I realized how many years of my life (maybe 9? I dunno) I have given to Instagram through my accounts but I have not received much back. No matter how many followers or admirers I have online, I am still alone. Everyone is moving on, living their life, while I have become someone they reach out to only when they are sad or they need a listener. And then they are gone.

The fault is my own. I made my life's purpose about other people. About my work. About helping people & I overgave alot.

The worst thing I did was I expected alot. I expected decency and kindness from people that I gave my time & energy to. But I guess that's too much to ask.

I tried alot. But I can't constantly be there for people that can't even say thank you back or even acknowledge you. I'm not that big of a person. I'm done overgiving.

I know in spiritual community they call obstacles a "mindset block". But not everything is a block. Sometimes the universe is guiding you towards something that's better for you.

Lesson learned the hard way ~ my life's purpose is not about others anymore. From now on, I come first.

My life's purpose is to do what makes me happy & live in passion.
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#healingjourneys #artistsofinstagram #mentalillnessrecovery #mentalhealthrecovery #mentalhealthadvocate #arttherapist #beautifulbizarre #toxicsocialmedia #selflovejourney🌷 #selflovejourney #meditationfacilitator #lifepurpose #soulspurpose
I want to become a wanderer Without a destination I want to become a wanderer
Without a destination

Become one with the wind
Or even ashes, I don't mind

I want to get lost
Not be found

This is not revenge
Or a cry for attention

The search for myself
Gets too much sometimes

I just want to not exist sometimes

What will it take
For my heart to stop beating?

Even after everything
Why won't my lungs collapse?

Am I made of steel or diamonds,
Or am I numb beyond hope?

This life must be a big joke
I must not be a human

The perpetual state of resilience
Gets too much sometimes

I just want to not exist sometimes

/ sombre corners of my heart / 

Art & writing by @jabeenqadri 

[This artwork is available for sale. DM me for info]
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#melancholia #melancholic #exhaustionisreal #beautifulbizarre #poetrycommunity #poetsofinstagram #spiritualpoetry #sadpoetry #sketchdaily #portraitdrawing #portraitart #sketchbookspread
I'm not offering art therapy / life coaching sessi I'm not offering art therapy / life coaching sessions anymore. Atleast not for the next 2 years while I'm doing my master's degree. I need a long break. If I come back, it might be group sessions or something else entirely, I don't know.

I realize now, more than ever, the need to focus on myself and not push things that are only bringing me more chaos than good.

The reason I held on for sometime because I thought people really needed me & this outlet. But it was difficult to accept that I'm not the only one doing this & people that need me might find much better options. I need me first.

I'll be focusing on my art and illustration commissions for sometime & refuel my passions & myself.
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