12 warnings signs you’re in a emotionally abusive relationship
Do you face trouble to identify emotional abuse? It’s normal. Sometimes, we are so invested in a person that we forget the difference between toxic love and healthy love. We feel like we deserve whatever we are getting, we feel like everything is our fault. Has that happened to you? Let me tell you something, This is not how relationships work. Whether it is your parents, friends, or a lover; relationships can never thrive on one person’s shoulder. Are we giving too much that we have nothing left for ourselves?
This is where emotional and mental abuse comes in.
What is emotional abuse?
Emotional abuse is a form of mental violence. The goal of an emotional abuser is to undermine and control the victim through constant criticism, verbal insults, manipulation, fear, and humiliation. Emotional abuse has severe effects on your mental and physical health. You may develop mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, and post-traumatic stress disorder. Physically, you may always feel drained, stressed, and weak.
Warning signs so you can identify emotional abuse
They are always the victim
They always want to gain your sympathy. They will always remind you of the things they do to keep the relationship working, all the ‘tough times’ they have been through. It is never their fault when there is a misunderstanding or fight, they will always blame you or someone else.
They will make you feel like they depend on you
Most of their dialogues will include “I cannot live without you’ or ‘You’re all I have ever had”. They will make you feel like you are the one carrying the relationship.
They will monitor your whereabouts and be overly possessive
They would always want to know where you are and with whom. They are overly suspicious and possessive, and will try to stop you from seeing your friends and family, they would want to check your phone and social media accounts
Lots of yelling
Screaming, swearing, and yelling are meant to exercise control over you or make you feel small; often accompanied by fist pounding or throwing things
They will make you feel as if you are stupid or do not know how to do anything. Their comments are condescending and are often accompanied by baby-talk (“aww sweetie” / ”I know you tried but you are not wise enough”) and pats on the back
Emotinal abusers always make you feel as if everything is your fault and you are the perpetrator of fights and arguments. They will never accept or apologize for their faults
They are very manipulative
They will always try to sweet-talk you into things just for their own benefit. They will tell you how beautiful and talented you are, bring you gifts and pamper you just to win your trust for their benefit, not because they love you.
Making fun of you or insulting you in public, having a laugh with others about your weaknesses
Everything is about them and their desires which includes your physical relationship with them. They will only come close to you if they want, doesn’t matter if you don’t want to. They might resort to force or manipulation
Your passions and your wishes are not important to them. They will make fun or be jealous of all the things you have achieved or want to achieve. Body language will include eye-rolling, mean smirks, headshaking or sighs
They do Not Show Any Efforts
They will not make any efforts to make you happy or give you what you need. You will always want their time and attention but they will only give when they want to.
They are rude to your family and friends
Since these people are so self-centred, they will never be happy around your friends or family. Their behaviour will be rude, sarcastic and boastful; they will either keep talking about themselves or wouldn’t talk at all.
Final thoughts on abusive relationships
Healthy relationships are always two-sided; they are always a joint effort; it is not always the fault of just one person. If you are in an emotionally damaging relationship, it is best to ask for help or leave before it is too late. We often need to take a step back and ask ourselves if we are letting someone take advantage of our feelings, efforts, and emotions.
You deserve people in your life who are understanding and supportive. You are worthy of that.
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